Everyone knows that gay bars are full of ferns, chrome, Patrick Nagel prints, and effeminate, impeccably dressed men who sip blender drinks while saying things so witty that Dorothy Parker would be nonplussed, right? Not exactly. A lot of that stuff (not the witty conversation) sounds more like something in a chain restaurant in a suburb named after a prince.
For real gay bars, imagine the Mos Eisley cantina with a "Let's make it up as we go along" approach to carding and a TV playing either porn or terrible music videos that are at least a decade out of date. (If it's a leather or bear bar, and it's game day, the TV may be playing the game instead.) Imagine also that the restrooms look like the Star Wars trash compactor, complete with monster. You get the idea now, I trust. Also, most gay bars are BYOWB (bring your own witty banter).