Monday, January 4, 2010

Planning on posting to an Internet discussion board?

If you're planning to post to an Internet discussion board (including a Usenet newsgroup, just in case anyone still uses them), please score your planned post using the guide below to determine whether you should do so. Starting with a score of zero, add or subtract each indicated value that corresponds to your post.
  • Do you commit a logical fallacy not otherwise covered here? (+10 for each one; if you are called on it and assert that it doesn't matter, +20; if you commit a logical fallacy in the course of accusing someone else of that same logical fallacy, +20)
  • When proved wrong, do you:
    • admit that you were wrong? (-20)
    • come up with some ridiculous explanation as to how your wrongness was actually a higher form of rightness? (+20)
    • say that you were just kidding, when you plainly weren't? (+10)
    • change the subject (+10, unless you started the thread, in which case +20)
    • throw up some red herring? (+10)
    • appeal to ridicule? (+20)
    • claim that you are being persecuted for some personal characteristic that is beside the point and not because you were wrong? (+30)
    • continue to use the argument anyway as though nothing had happened? (+40)
  • Do you spend substantially more time defending a position than you did researching it? (+10, unless you didn't research the position at all, in which case +20)
  • DO YOU USE THE CAPS LOCK OF TRUTH OR THE REPEATED PUNCTUATION OF RIGHTEOUSNESS??????? (+10 for one or the other; +30 for both)
  • Do you "correct" someone else on that person's inner life, or on events in that person's life that you could not possibly know? (+20 each occurrence)
  • Do you lecture people on a subject with which you are "familiar" only from the popular media or your own speculation? (+10 generally; if you should have known that your audience includes people intimately familiar with that subject, +20; if you have actual knowledge that your audience includes people intimately familiar with that subject, +30; if you are merely asking questions of knowledgeable people; -10)
  • When called on the above, do you assert that those people's intimate familiarity with the subject precludes them from expressing an opinion on it? (+20)
  • When people ask for evidence for your assertions, do you:
    • provide it? (-10)
    • ignore them? (+10)
    • say that your assertions are self-evident, when they're not? (+10)
    • tell them to do their own research? (+20)
    • make another unsubstantiated assertion, this time about your expertise in the subject? (+30)
    • claim that you are being persecuted for some personal characteristic that is beside the point and not because you haven't substantiated your assertions? (+30)
  • Do you take the position that since sane adults making a free decision must necessarily agree with you, anyone who disagrees with you must be:
    • doing so under duress? (+20)
    • immature? (+30)
    • mentally ill? (+40)
  • When people disagree with you, do you take the trouble to find out why? (-30)
  • Do you use a typo flame as an excuse not to make a substantive argument? (+30)
  • Do you dismiss out of hand the notion that you could ever possibly have the burden of proof on anything? (+30)
  • Do you address your audience as "children" unless you have a very good reason to do so? (+40)

How to score:

  • 0 or negative: You should have no problem posting.
  • 10-20: Take a deep breath and proofread.
  • 30-40: Are you sure you want to post this at all?
  • 50+: Are you sure you want to continue owning a computer at all?

1 comment:

Base Urge Czar said...

T o n y...you finally went into business for yourself!

Congratulations!