Today's vocabulary word: society

society, n. Like the luminiferous aether of old, society is a hypothesized mysterious substance that fills the entire universe. Unlike the luminiferous aether, however, society is sentient and even malevolent, and it has the power to compel otherwise decent and moral people to do things that they would not otherwise do. Society's evil power, however, has two limits.

First, society works only on those people whom we like. It is powerless against those people whom we don't like, who retain full free will and thus responsibility for whatever they do. For example, it can compel the above-cited Ms. Prejean, but not those gay people whom she righteously detests, to engage in immoral behavior. Also, while society can force someone to commit a crime, it has no say in whether the jury convicts that person or whether potential victims pack heat.

Second, for all of its power to do evil by proxy, society is gossamer-fragile; a single same-sex marriage is enough to cause it irreparable harm. Therefore, we should encourage same-sex marriage to end society's vicarious crime spree.