My blatant ripoff of Yes Minister

The New York Times is the news source for people who think that they run the country; NPR, for people who think that they ought to run the country; The Washington Post, for the people who actually do run the country; The Washington City Paper, for people who think that in due course they will run the country; The Baltimore Sun, for people who think that the country ought to be run strictly for their benefit; The Wall Street Journal, for the people who own the country; Salon.com, for people who think that the country ought to be run by another country; Fox News, for people who think that it is; The Washington Times, for people who think that what the country needs is a god-emperor; and The Washington Blade, for people who think that what the country needs is a goddess-empress. Readers of Metro Weekly don't care who runs the country, so long as he's really hot.